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Piss Off the Patriarchy, and Petty People Too.

Yesterday I think that I had my faith renewed. What I have been through has been trying, and has tested my meddle but I came through it okay. A older soror stopped and spoke to me and shared with me her personal situation and really made me feel better about what lay ahead of me. It let me know that not everyone is duplicitous or pious. There are people who care about others; I am one of them.

I was watching Tangled last night and heard something that stood out in the moment that never had before, that whenever this cruel and callous world finds a bit of sunshine, it tries to quash it. I think that is what almost happened to me. I NEVER apologize for a few things, as life has taught me not to, and they are: My past, because it made me the amazing woman that I am with the powerfully compelling testimony that I have; my desires, because they are mine and I will never let anything diminish me; or my opinions, for they too are uniquely my own and I searched my self in order to cultivate them.

One last thing I will never apologize for is my sexuality in whatever form that may manifest itself. As it is, I have been abstinent for a while and it is the most frustrating, infuriating, yet, invigorating thing I have ever done. I take abuse for being sexual and abuse for chosing to abstain and here I am... take it or leave it. My friends lovingly and jokingly call me "cobwebs" and I revel in that because there are lots of women that talk about it and don't do it, lots that talk about and do it, and there are those that do it and will never talk about it. I don't care which you are, but I like that I can be secure in the knowledge that it'll never be an obstacle that I'll need to overcome in order to enter into a relationship when the time comes.

I don't have children, I have two degrees that I earned and I am headed towards two more. Why do I owe ANYONE an explanation? I mentor children every day, tutor children that need me, and what are you doing with your life? Are you wearing a T-Shirt and acting a fool, sitting at a couple of informational tables and feeling good about yourself, or are you out there in the real world where real people need you? I decided that children would give my life meaning... they have.


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