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Lizzo is a new personal favorite of mine in the rap game as she is self-confident and deserves to be. Let me clarify: you know how a person deserves to be self-confident? They CHOOSE themselves, they own every piece of who they are: good, bad, ugly, ratchet, kind, and crass,) and then accept it. If you don’t like an aspect of your personality, adjust it—fine tune it, and move forward.

In me, I accept that I can be cruel, crass, and rude. I can also be: kind, sophisticated—when traveling in certain social circles—and gracious. I choose when to be those things. I accept criticism, even seek it, and I truly don’t need to be coddled. I check in with people when I feel I’m out of control or when I’ve been giving too much of myself to undeserving parties. Constructive feedback from people in your corner, people invested in you and your success, is how you grow. How you don’t? Plugging your ears like a small child like, “la la la la la, can’t hear you.”

In previous posts, I’ve talked a lot about being secure in who you are before surgery because things will change around you, but nothing changes more than you and your body AND personality. If you’ve never been thin before, how would you ever know who you’ll be when you look completely different? How can you ever know how you’ll respond to an influx of attention you’re not used to getting? You’ve got to think about that. Further, if all you’ve ever known are health-related issues and stress related to those issues, how can you know that—once those go away—everything will be okay? You know how they say, “Money can’t buy happiness?” It’s because, if you’re used to being miserable and unhappy in all of the ways that money can’t alleviate it, then having money certainly won’t serve you well despite taking away a fiscal burden. It’s the same with surgery. If all of your misery is, deep down, past the point of looking good, looking good won’t fix it. If your insecurities go past what you look like, changing what you look like won’t fix it. Again, this is the purpose of a psychiatric evaluation because, the surgery isn’t a cure for your life’s misery.

This means that you have to ADDRESS THESE THINGS. It means that you have to ask the hard questions, even though it makes you uncomfortable. Who changes anything without feeling discomfort? That’s the whole point. If you can’t accept that, it’s probably not the right time for you to consider the surgery. More than just your eating habits need to change. Someone once said to me, “no one can tell me shit. You don’t know what it’s like to be fat!”

I don’t? I don’t know what it’s like to be 100+ pounds overweight? I don’t know what financial hardship looks like? I don’t know what immediate family and their lack of support looks like? Could’ve sworn that this is an entire blog dedicated to that journey and how I navigated it to a successful end by any measurable statistic. It was an interesting assessment, to say the least. If no one can tell you shit, don’t ask for opinions. You don’t want honesty, you want people to agree with you. If you don’t want people in your corner, there will be no one left after you’ve successfully alienated yourself. Self-fulfilling prophecy is when you believe something so fervently that you actively manifest the result so that it confirms for yourself, what you believed. If you believe yourself perpetual victim, someone’s always beating up on you or that you’re constantly misunderstood, that no one likes you and you have no friends, you’ll act just like that, and you’ll find that to be true. Who wants to be around a forever Eeyore?

Change something about yourself for the better besides your body or you’ll look great...alone. Start by actually loving yourself, fake it until you make it And stop alienating people.

Tomorrow, I have a scheduled movie night with members of my squad. I have done a great job of bringing my friends together to spend time around new faces and old faces and have discovered that everyone gets along and no one feels awkward. I’ve found that everyone finds new ties to someone else and forges their own independent relationships! I’m looking forward to more events like this—something that I said I wanted to change a few months ago, and then started doing it. It was so simple, all I had to do was invite people.

I can’t wait for the pictures to come out of tomorrow’s pajama night! I love being surrounded by good people, good friends, old friends, and newer friends that I get to know better.


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