Where has she been? What does she look like now? FEAST YOUR EYES!

It's been over a month since I last updated (sorry,) but I try to make sure that I have something to report! (Otherwise, I come off like a braggart.)

So, in the past month, I set a personal goal to actually use the gym membership that I had been paying $30/month for. (I love LA Fitness, by the way.) I used the January/February push for new member acquisition to my advantage and negotiated my gym membership from single location use for $29.95/mo. to multi-location use for the same $29.95. It doesn't seem like a big deal, but trust me, it is a huge deal for someone that will quickly say, "Screw this," if I'm nowhere near the gym when the fancy to work out strikes me. This way, I have three chances to remove the excuse. Wherever I am, there is a location. That has actually made a difference! LA Fitness has an app(📲) that tells you how many times you've checked in, and I use that to challenge myself to check in as many times as I can and stay for at least an hour every time with mandatory cardio.

Anyway, getting to the meat: LA Fitness recently opened a new location in North Little Rock, AR and I went to the grand opening to see what I could stand to gain. What I gained was a free fitness consultation, (which I skipped when I joined because I was embarrassed.) The trainer that conducted the assessment was with me for like an hour and showed me all of these exercises that I had literally told myself I couldn't do or that I didn't think that I could do (self-defeatist attitude.) It was life-changing (no exaggeration.) Though I don't have the disposable income to be able to afford a trainer, ($300-500/monthly,) I definitely decided to incorporate everything he taught me into my repertoire!

So, I now do the following exercises: Cardio (Treadmill) - On the treadmill, I start with a brisk walk to get my heart rate up (about a 3.5 mph) I stop just before I feel like I have to start jogging to keep up. Depending on the tempo of the music I listen to, I begin to jog (5-5.5 mph) to the music and I continue until the song is over to build my endurance gradually. This goes on for 20-30 minutes.

Strength Training - I use several machines including the pectoral fly, gluteal kickback, assisted pull up, and I have started lifting weights. I have started doing weighted squats, and I do crunches and leg extensions.

I have taken so many gym selfies for this blog and for my own documentation that I swear people think they're staring at the Greek God(dess) Narciss(a)! I don't care though. Here are some pictures from the last month, courtesy my Instagram:

I am including this last picture with a personal note. I'm going to struggle (emotionally) just to type it. Here it goes: I am not engaged. In fact, looking back on my life, I have cheated myself and haven't really had one meaningful relationship. I have yet to meet someone I'm attracted to that thinks that I am amazing and only has eyes for me.

Don't worry, I'm not melancholy; I am hopeful! Things have changed in my life and I am truly happy. I used to think I deserved the mistreatment. Now, there is a joy that radiates from within me. So, I will find him one day. In any event, I used to think about wedding dress shopping, (Attorney Mom wants to go to Kleinfeld,) and I used to be despondent in the back of my mind because I knew I'd be shopping for a size 18, 20, 22, 24, 26 dress. Because I am a makeup artist, I had envisioned a photoshoot concept to showcase bridal makeup. It, of course, involved a wedding dress and there was just NO WAY I was going to buy a dress for someone OTHER than me. That wasn't ever going to happen. So, I found myself gown shopping. I had a moment in the store because I was standing there, wearing a size 8 dress, and it looked so amazing on me that brides in the store stopped and stared...along with their entourages. I tried not to take the moment away from the actual brides, but I'm no longer willing to stop my shine for others anymore. Anyway, I tried on four dresses and each looked better than the one before it. I had a moment, realizing that I now had no more restrictions, I can pretty much wear anything and it'll look good. It is the opposite of how I used to feel when I was larger when I had to REALLY look for flattering things to make me feel sexy, classy, or (insert whatever.)

My life is different now. I do hope someone takes something from this. But, even if no one ever does, I saved my own life.