My Co-Worker Saved My Life!

Today was my first day back to work, and I was not prepared. Really, completely unprepared for how fatigued I would be and also, I failed to come up with a plan for how I was going to gracefully/tactfully handle any sickness that may or may not happen on the job.

I made it through the first half of the day just fine, but I started to wilt around noon and headed to the backseat of my car for a nap. The naps I take in the afternoon definitely help me, and they are going to be so strictly necessary as I am not getting enough of anything these days. I did my best to plan out my meals today and, though there were some glitches, I did very well. Breakfast came after I had taken my Hairfinity vitamins, (which I now splice open to take,) and my gummy vitamins after I had been at work for about a half of an hour. I packed oatmeal into a 4 ounce container and proceeded to eat half of it. This was my first “miss” of the day because I mixed in my protein powder and thought that it would taste phenomenally… I was WRONG. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, dead damn wrong. Thirty minutes after that, I resumed drinking my beverage, which I was pleased to discover that I had left in the fridge during my absence (Orange Juice, which I diluted with water.) For lunch, I had two ounces of crab cake, which was great, but I messed all the way up when I through in some Activia, (which I thought would help my digestion and, with the “bifidus regularis”, would ease my lactose intolerance. Let me tell you something: I WAS WRONG. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, can’t get any more wrong.

I REALIZED THAT I HAD MADE A MISTAKE WITH THE FIRST SPOONFUL.

My stomach proceeded to let me know it was pissed all the way off. I then apologized and vowed to never do it again.

I did, however, manage to eek out a bowel movement after the yogurt, which was super necessary because I was feeling so terribly crappy (no pun intended.) Even after that though, the yogurt damage was still being wrought and I just couldn’t deal. Enter: my coworkers. We had a candid conversation about how my recovery was going, and I shared with them what my incisions looked like. I even shared my BM information, not voluntarily mind you, I was asked. After damn near moaning a death wail in the office and, unprofessionally (almost) sprawling out of the floor (because I’m many things, not the least of which is DRAMATIC,) one coworker suggested caffeine, specifically tea, to help my stomach. Then, realized that I still had some Youthberry tea from Teavanaavailable and that it would be PERFECT! I marched right into the kitchen and came out feeling like I had a new lease on life, at least for the next hour anyway. I think I can pull through.

I have really been dragging today. It’s already hard enough when you’re trying to get back into the swing of things, another matter entirely when you’re literally recovering from being gutted and you’re trying to live. I feel like the Frankenstein monster, but with much less rage and resentment.

Today’s Bonus: One of my coworkers said that she can tell that I have lost weight in my neck. DING DING DING, I’ll take it!