Drop It Low, Gurl!
Well! Tomorrow marks the five month mark for me and my baby girl. YES! It's a girl. (I wasn't supposed to find out until next week, but I needed fetal DNA testing and capitalized on the moment to learn the gender and start my planning early.)
Let's Get Started!
She is growing like a weed, she sits incredibly low, and...her booty is still in the air like she just don't care.
During her last sonogram, I was tickled (but I'll never tell her so,) to see her once again in there with her but straight up in the air and trying to touch her own toes. The sonogram wasn't standard, but it was necessary because of a physical altercation with my mother that ended with her hitting me in the stomach. I went to the doctor the following Monday to make sure that she was okay after I had a nightmare that involved miscarrying; I woke up terrified. So! I got a chance to see her again and check on her growth. She is still my little wiggle bean.
As for the planning, IT HAS BEGUN.
It turns out that all of my Pinterest ideas were for naught. I'd been so wrapped up in planning for, (and resigning myself to,) the thought of a boy that I had given very little thought to the possibility that she would be a girl. Though I had many a Pinterest board dedicated to sweet pink nurseries, I wasn't married to any of the ideas. Further, I have had to battle through so much during this short five months and it was all stealing my joy.
I have a mental illness.
I have ADHD.
I had an abusive and codependent living situation.
I didn't have a job. (Thanks COVID.)
My internship fell apart. (Thanks COVID.)
I was going to be doing this all alone, (which I had sort-of planned on, but still held out hope for a nuclear family by some miracle I never got.)
While some of these things have resolved themselves, took work and personal sacrifice on my part, or are still being resolved, ultimately, I am working towards righting what was wrong so that I can steer my way clear to joy and contentment in what will be my new life. Each of these things will probably deserve their own blog post so other mommies might stumble across it and won't feel so alone and alienated. Truly, if it weren't for my friends with their own experiences with one or more of my burdens, I might not have pushed through, and I don't mean that in a tongue-in-cheek way.
But back to the happy plans, for now, for this post...
I walked into my former craft room and started looking around. "What things can I use in here to be her room?" "Which decorations work for her nursery?" Those questions weren't hard to answer because the room was basically pink and green anyway. All of my sorority art was on the wall. Everything was practically rose gold and glam anyway...and we were off to the races. I drew inspiration from some cascading ribbons (pink, green, cream, and gold,) that I had hung in front of the window that I took when Aerie discarded them after a floor set. So, here are the choices that I have made so far:
In addition to these purchases, I bought security cameras for my apartment to keep an eye on things if I ever have to invite a caregiver into my home to watch my daughter. That definitely requires a second post so that I can share my childcare planning and preparation documents!
I'm going to tell the story of the dresser and the chair separately too and link back.