Down, But Not Out!
I mentioned that I would update with everything that has gone on in the past week so:
My car broke down!
I tell people all of the time that it's okay to say that shitty things are shitty and, well, my car breaking down on a one lane south-one lane north street was shitty. I had to put my car in neutral and let my foot off the brake in order to back down the road and let my car come to rest in the outward drive of a nursing home. I couldn't call for a tow right away, it was the wrong time to discover that my car insurance didn't have roadside assistance (it does now!) so I walked home. Around 10:30 that night, I took an uber to walmart to get transmission fluid for the car...just to uber to my car and find that the car battery was dead. Now I needed a jump and a tow. Great! I called my friends and one came to help, but the battery would NOT charge. So...back home. By the time I made it back to my car the next day, the nursing home had my car towed away. So I went inside to let them know how kind they were for making my life much easier (HEAVY SARCASM.) $284.88 is how much that cost me. Another friend gave me the money, just gifted it to me out of love and I was able to get my car taken care of. Next, I had to have it towed to the dealership to have them do a diagnostic which told me that I have to replace the battery, the spark plugs (which I had already paid to have replaced several months ago...I guess I got screwed,) and a valve under the manifold. Yeah, anywhere from $2,000-5,000. And everyone involved with that cost can kiss my entire ass.
Interning and Hours
I started my internship at the beginning of the semester and I love it. I love my clients and their various struggles. I love that they are willing participants on their own paths to improvement, and I love that I can be of assistance with that. That is the silver lining. On the other hand, there is the obstruction that has always existed with this program. These people are the most imbecilic people that walk the Earth, with ZERO common sense and the stunning ability to run a program...straight into the ground. The program coordinator is new, the admin staff left, applications my or may not have been received...the list goes on and on right down to requiring my supervisor to sign off on my hours (something I created a form for when I noticed theirs didn't have that,) then they insisted I used their form--so I did, only for them to reject my hours because there was no signature. WHAT THE FUCK? So...you could've left me alone in the first place? Now, I'm several weeks behind on submitting hours because I ave had to revise so many times and THEY have come up short ultimately. I can't stand it when other people get in my way and this is a big obstacle. This program should burn to the ground.
However...
There are always up sides. I do, in fact love my practicum site and I am helping to start group trauma therapy soon which includes an art component. I have a ticket to see Angela Davis speak when she comes to Little Rock, so between seeing her and Ruth Bader Ginsburg, my bucket list has HUGE cross-offs for this year!
If I ever get to see Assata Shakur speak, I will fall out. I still have all kinds of regret around my inability to see Maya Angelou before she passed away. I know that there was wisdom I could've taken from her words and by being in her physical presence. Now, she exists in the eternal realm. Thankfully, we have film clips, interviews, and texts left behind. I never want to be in a position to say that I could've been in the presence of a heavyweight and passed it up. I won't ever do it.
It Weighs Heavy
On September 16, I weighed in at the heaviest I have been since my surgery; 168.7; I WAS PISSED. So I started doing what I needed to do to get my ass back together. I have the encouragement of my friends and some very expensive fabric I bought for an evening gown that I'm having made to motivate me. I REFUSE to wear a huge dress. I just can not do it. So, the changes I have made look like increase exercise, and cutting out one fat thing each day and replacing it with a lighter snack. It's working. Handful of pecans, some dried cranberries, almonds, cheeses...and boom. (-5 lbs.)
I have a great support system around me. My online friends being so far way is killing me. I now have to plan a meet up for us all because that is the way to really solidify the relationship. I have another movie night coming up with my good friends andI'm still practicing thankfulness daily. There's always ONE thing to be thankful for.