• Alia

The Right Hand Doesn't Know What the Left is Doing

I am super excited because I discovered something this morning. No, really, I seriously discovered in this very moment that my incisions are not only healing, but that they look damngood (all one word, damngood!) Both scabs and Dermabond are coming off to reveal pinkish/white incisions which will fade over time. How awesome!

Also, let me share a few things that I have discovered about my food tolerances and intolerances:

I can tolerate sugar in the raw! That was one of the first boundaries that I stretched.

I have been drinking Vitamin Water and diluting it with water. Equal parts Vitamin Water and water.

I CAN NOT tolerate dairy, not even a little bit, not even at all (but surgery didn’t change that. However, I will die over cheese, it’s non-negotiable.)

My stomach can hold at least 4 ounces with comfort now.

So there are some things that are really frustrating me right now:

I misplaced the information from my nutritionist and so I had been progressing my meals as far as I felt I could without feeling full or like I needed to stop eating. The surgeon’s nurse told me that 2 ounces a meal was fine when I got home and called her crying/freaking out because the pain didn’t seem to stop. Then, I progressed to four ounces a meal on my own. However, the nutritionist’s packet (which was emailed to me today) says that I should only be eating 1-2 tablespoons right now and drinking 48 ounces of liquid a day but not to exceed 2 ounces of drink in an hour… I wish you all could have seen the look on my face. I’m no math genius or anything. But I did the math here and I’m awake for roughly 12 hours in a day (due to my bipolar disorder) and in that 12 hours, if I drank 2 ounces of liquids each hour, I’d only get 24 ounces of liquid…and that’s not taking into consideration the roughly 1.5 hours each meal that I am not supposed to drink while I’m preparing to eat, eating, or digesting that which I just ate. These people are confusing THE hell out of me and I mean it! And after a conversation with the nutritionist, she said DON’T STRETCH YOUR POUNCH TO FAST AND TOO SOON, YOU COULD DIE. I think a lost all of my melanin at that point because I was scared to death. How can I be comfortably eating 4 ounces if I’m supposed to only hold 1 or 2 and don’t scare the crap out of me with death because that’s the opposite of what I’m trying to do!

It basically put me back into my Day 2 mindset where I was scared to eat, scared to drink. I can’t stay hydrated on only 2 ounces an hour, that doesn’t even fill up my mouth AND I’m VERY thirsty.